Average

Well, today went about as well as expected.  As in not very.  For the second year in a row, my manager downgraded my self-rating of “Exceeded” to “Achieved” in my job (which is like downgrading a B to a C).  Not a surprise but I didn’t take it very well, arguing that my ability should not be judged by factors outside my control (delayed timelines due to slow recruitment) and lack of opportunities.  Which are the reasons she gave.  Then I tried to find out what I could do to improve my rating – and that’s where some other factors came to light.  Things like not managing any full-time reports (not a requirement for my job level so it shouldn't count against me), not leading some of these workshop meetings she likes to have (I argued that I wouldn’t even have these meetings if I was in her position, but that didn’t go down well), and that she wants me to be more vocal in meetings about things I cannot vocalize (such as sharing lessons from my past work experience, things that I either cannot or don’t want to share).  The whole thing reeks of BS.  I am better than my rating (and job level) and deserve more responsibility and respect (and not being patronized and micromanaged).  I talked about how underused and undervalued I felt, and I don’t think I got any responses to suggest that that will change anytime soon.  So all in all a very, very unsatisfactory meeting.  I just think we are 2 incompatible people with polar opposite approaches to work – and it is not in my best interest for her to remain my manager.  I hope this can be addressed, but I am fearful it won’t (the subsequent meeting with her manager did not appease me) – so it seems I will remain stuck being managed by somebody whose management style I detest.  I desire change, and if that cannot be achieved internally then I will start looking externally.  I think it is time to update my CV.  You can expect a lot more work rants in the upcoming months.