Regrets

I have many, many regrets – and unfortunately I am prone to dwelling on them.  I always like to wonder what kind of life I would be living now if I had made a different choice at those various forks in my life path.  Or even if fate had intervened differently in my life to create new or different opportunities.  My personal and professional life could be so much different, maybe worse but probably better.  I like to think that in many of those infinite ever-so-slightly different parallel universes, I am living a much happier, more satisfying, more fulfilling life.  Or perhaps not – maybe I should be more appreciative of my current status and how relatively comfortable my life has been so far.  Unfortunately, I am prone to mood swings and I am definitely on a bit of a downer at the moment.  Disappointed with my career and profession – stemming from an education that I kind of regret because it was based more on what I was good at rather than what I might actually enjoy.  And disappointed with my personal life – missed opportunities and a feeling that I’ve kind of retreated into my shell and settled for my lonely existence.  Not healthy thoughts.  A mid-life crisis?  Nope, just more of the same.  As one of the 350 million people worldwide who suffer from depression, these are not untypical feelings to have.  I don’t want your sympathy, just your empathy.      

Post-Bank Holiday Blues

Had a bad day today - first day back at work after the long weekend, never a good day at the best of times, and had to take over an urgent task because someone else called in sick.  Naturally, absolutely no clarity on what needs to be done.  Typical.  Dealing with this kind of thing, and these kind of people, sorely tests my patience.  Something that can and should be dealt with quickly ends up taking an absolute age.  Frustrating.

 

Scratch

One of the pros about my new place over apartment-living is that I'm actually able to wash my own car.  So I've taken advantage of that this weekend, but in doing so it has revealed that there is a scratch on my car.  Not just a normal scratch, but it actually looks like someone at some point has taken a key or something to my car.  It's a long looping scratch - doesn't really look like anything other than an aimless doodle and not particularly deep (so I'm thinking that I should be able to buff it out with some car wax).  But who would do that and when?  Most of the time my car is either parked at home (which would've been in a garage at my old place, and a carport in my new place) or at work - I can't believe it could have happened at either of those places.  Which leaves either the brief periods when I'm parked to do some shopping, or when I'm parked at a trail-head when hiking.  Probably some miscreant when I'm parked outside a Walmart.  Sad.    

My new pet

I've seen this guy (or gal) most evenings in the vicinity of my new place - only ever see the one, so at least we have something in common!

Smoke

I thought that by moving house that I would escape the smell of smoke on sunny evenings.  I guess not.  In my old place, both the apartments below me had BBQ sets that would send smoke rising up and stinking out my apartment.  So, moving to a detached house - I thought and hoped one less thing to bother me.  But no.  Instead, now one of my neighbors (I think maybe even my landlord, or at least his son) has been having bonfires over the last 2/3 evenings/nights and has stank out my new home with the smoke from that.  The first time it happened, I woke up early Friday to the smell of smoke - and I wondered round my place worried that it was something of mine causing the smell.  But it wasn't, and as I write this I've had to go round shutting all my windows because of the smell of smoke again.  Disappointing, especially since my new place gets super hot when it's a sunny and hot day because it is over-exposed to sunlight, so it seems I have another uncomfortably warm night of restless sleep to look forward to.

Tired

Memorial Day weekend - no work on Monday, yeah!  Does this mean that I can actually get a decent lie in?  Nope, here I am writing this at 7 am on Saturday morning.  I can't remember the last time I got 8 hours of sleep.  That can't be healthy.

You tiny, tiny, tiny little man

A Trump update:

-          So, his favorite meal is a well-done steak with a side of ketchup.  Oh my goodness, that is so very wrong.  Everyone knows that you should have a steak cooked to medium AT MOST to get the best flavor (personally, I always go for medium-rare) – so to have it well done just cooks out all the juiciness and flavor.  And that is all the more tragic because I imagine he has the best cuts of meat.  And a side of ketchup.  No no no.  I have never heard of anyone having ketchup with a steak – that is an abomination and grounds for impeachment alone.

-          Did you see that video of him shoving a fellow world leader out of the way so that he could stand front and center of a NATO photo op?  What a disgrace.  That is taking “America First” too literally.  What a deeply rude and unpleasant man.

-          So his son-in-law is now under FBI scrutiny for his Russian connections.  It’s all very dodgy isn’t it?!  It comes as no surprise that Trump and Europe disagree about how to deal with Russia – Trump is never going to take a strong stance against Russia since Russia essentially helped win him the election.

-          Did you also see the video of Trump shaking hands with the new French president?  That was hilarious – as we’ve seen before this idiot doesn’t even know how to shake hands with world leaders properly, so it was satisfying to see his tiny little hand crushed by the French president.  Sadly, that is the kind of action that will probably have repercussions from someone as petty and simple-minded as Trump.

-          Apparently, Trump also had a difference of opinion with European leaders on several other matters – such as climate and trade.  Climate comes as no surprise.  But it is sad that Trump and his entourage supposedly don’t even have a basic understanding of how to negotiate trade deals with Europe (thinking they can deal with EU countries separately).  With all his rhetoric about European countries not contributing enough to NATO and not committing America to militarily support NATO if necessary, he is not making many friends.  I wish someone at these meeting would just come out and say something about what a moron Trump is – surely they’re not all so gutless.

-          And as for the US leaks of intelligence, that is a massive disgrace.  Trump may call the leaks to American media about the Manchester attack “deeply troubling”, but even if they are not his fault he should at least eat some humble pie and publicly apologize to the UK on behalf of the US.  But no, don’t expect that anytime soon.  Trump has never apologized for anything – including any of the outrageous and inflammatory lies and threats up to and beyond the election.  Single-handedly, he has lost the US it’s sense of dignity and moral upstanding on the world stage.

Twin Peaks

After 25 years, Twin Peaks returned to TV over the weekend.  I didn’t watch it.  And this week it has been mighty difficult to avoid the many, many articles, opinions and analysis on the return of the show on all the websites I normally frequent.  I have decided that I have to watch the original before I would ever consider watching the revival.  This was a tough but necessary choice.  If I’m going to savor this series, I need to know the characters from the beginning – and that means watching it from the start.  I can wait to do this.  I can’t say I’m a big fan of David Lynch (I thought Mulholland Drive was good but not really my kind of film), so this is not exactly a must-see for me – but it is very buzzworthy and so I do feel like I’m missing out.  And I do think the music over the opening credits is one of TV’s best ever (and the opening credits remind me that I need to go to Snoqualmie Falls – which is the waterfall featured in the opening credits and which is not far at all east of Seattle).  Perhaps this is a sign of my evolving tastes – as I get older, my preferences will tend to gravitate towards more conservative, safe and familiar programs ahead of something like Twin Peaks that will involve some heavy concentration.  It’s interesting, because I’ve also started to listen to some non-comedy podcasts – particularly in the true crime genre.  I am officially getting old.    

4th Best Bond

Thank god I don’t know anyone (I think?) that would ever attend an Ariana Grande concert – still, senseless and tragic.  And then the news that Sir Roger Moore has passed away this morning – a double whammy.  As much as I’ll miss him as the Bond of my childhood, I’ll also miss him as the voice of the English audio guide when I went to the Forbidden City in Beijing.

“… only had three expressions as Bond: right eyebrow raised, left eyebrow raised and eyebrows crossed when grabbed by 'Jaws'”

Ha Ha! (Nelson)

I have no sympathy for:

(1)    Hunters getting killed by the elephant they shot at (squashed no less! – how’s that for karma)
(2)    Little girls getting pulled into the water by a sea lion, after her family had engaged in “reckless behavior” in feeding and teasing the poor creature
(3)    The many, many drivers I saw being pulled over for speeding yesterday
(4)   Unruly “Make America Great Again” cap-adorning airline passengers getting kicked off a flight (you get what you deserve for wearing that cap in public)
(5)    Boston/New England sports fans – I hate you and your teams

Mima Mounds

Another nice day, another walk.  This time I went for a bit of a drive - to a place called Mima Mounds about 70 miles south of Seattle.  It's an interesting geographical abnormality in the Pacific NW - a prairie-type landscape consisting of these weird naturally-formed mounds - I'm not sure that photos will do it justice.  It was a nice walk amongst the mounds - not too far and very flat.  It wasn't quite blanketed with wildflowers like I optimistically hoped, but there were some wildflowers and lots of birdsong - all the better because I got there early (8 am!) and didn't see anyone else until I was leaving.

Magnolia

UPDATED WITH PHOTOS!!!!!

It's been a long time since we had some decent weather over a a weekend, but today was probably the best day of the year so far - so after a morning haircut, took an afternoon stroll around the Magnolia neighborhood of Seattle.  It's one of my favorite neighborhoods - NW of downtown, it has nice houses, great views and none of the normal Seattle riffraff.  I considered renting there - but it's not cheap and not many rentals to be found.  I did about 4 miles - and the route was quite up and down, so a good work out!  I made 2 faux pas - firstly I should have worn shorts it was that nice (and to make it worse, I got some chafing at the top of my legs from my jeans), and secondly I should have parked there rather than park at work and take public transport (which was a pain in the ass - particularly when I missed my stop on the way there!).  I haven't posted any photos for a while, but I took some today so I'll update this post once I download them.

Math

I've got a maths degree and I don't know the answer to this math question for 7 year old's that's been circulating the web.  I think it's a fake.

Trivia

In a rare social event at work that I was quite keen to participate in, a trivia happy hour was held today.  And it was enjoyable – the teams were random, so had the opportunity to chat with a few people I don’t normally interact with over a few beers on a workday afternoon.  And then show off some random logic and knowhow (I’m a useful asset on an American quiz team because the few remaining nuggets of facts and knowledge that I possess are somewhat different to the typical American).  We came in second, 1 point off the eventual winners.  Close, but no cigar – I don’t think there was anything I really messed up on, other than getting Galapagos Islands and Easter Islands mixed up.  A not bad result, considering the people here are generally going to be much cleverer and knowledgeable than Joe Public in a normal pub quiz.  And it was interesting that there wasn’t a single other member of my department at the quiz – says a lot about how little I have in common with my Chinese colleagues.  

NATO

It’s been a bad last few days for Trump – but I want to touch on one of the more disturbing bit of news about how NATO is “scrambling” and “freaking out” about Trump’s attendance at the next NATO meeting.  The guy is such an ignoramus that they have to tailor the meeting specifically for his short attention span and restrict speaker’s remarks to between 2 and 4 minutes at a time.  Yes, the American President – one of the most powerful positions in the world – doesn’t have an attention span beyond 4 minutes.  That is amazing.  And tragic.  This quote just about sums it up

“It’s kind of ridiculous how they are preparing to deal with Trump.  It’s like they’re preparing to deal with a child — someone with a short attention span and mood who has no knowledge of NATO, no interest in in-depth policy issues, nothing. They’re freaking out.”

This is the guy who said NATO is obsolete, and then on second thoughts is no longer obsolete.  This is the guy who handed Angela Merkel a bill for NATO expenses, and then didn’t shake her hand.  This is the guy who shared highly classified and confidential intelligence from an ally with the Russians.  This is the guy who fired the FBI head because he refused to end an investigation into Russian influence on members of his administration.  This is the guy about to go to the Middle East who has absolutely no grasp on the nuances of the history, geography and conflicts in the region.  This is a guy who apparently can only absorb information from single-page memos and visual aids like maps, charts, graphs and photos.  This is a guy who apparently causes officials to strategically include his name as often as they can in documents because he will only keep reading them if he is mentioned.  This is the guy about to visit Muslim countries who has tried to enforce anti-Muslim travel bans.  The only good thing for him about his upcoming foreign trip is that at least he can momentarily escape all the domestic strife and scandals surrounding his presidency.  No sympathy from me - I hope the woes continue to pile on for this hypocrite.  If it wasn’t already clear by now, the President doesn’t have a clue about what he is doing – go back to hawking your crappy hotels, steaks, golf courses and reality TV show.  Again, shame on America for electing this oaf.  Just imagine the uproar if this was Hillary rather than Trump surrounded by all this controversy.

America

It's sad that so many of the songs I seek out to listen to are from adverts.  I think this is currently being used to sell a car, but it is a classic:

A song that is older than me is still capable of reflecting a certain restlessness common to us all, even nowadays - "I'm empty and aching and I don't know why" indeed.

Couch Potato Update

The main TV season is currently winding down, with lots of season finales along with news of renewals/cancellations.  No real surprises to the list of cancellations – most of the stuff being cancelled either should never have aired in the first place or is a long way past it’s prime.  Of the programs I watch (or should I say watched – past tense), other than a couple of half hour comedies that I won’t miss too much the only real disappointment is the cancellation of American Crime.  But again not really a shocker since I knew if had terrible ratings – with some of the serious and depressing subject matter covered, it was much better suited to premium cable than one of the main networks.  But every cloud has a silver lining, so here are some of the summer TV shows to watch out for: the rebooted Twin Peaks (I have never watched the original, but I think I would have liked its originality and uniqueness and so hope the same here), Snowfall (starting seeing some trailers for this – set in the 80s it is about the rise of crack cocaine), Game of Thrones (need I say more), The Tick (I haven’t seen the pilot, but I do like Peter Serafinowicz so I will give this a shot), plus lots of good stuff on Netflix that I will probably miss until such a time (ever?) when I run out of other things to watch.  It looks like summer TV might be relatively quiet, which is good because it will give me a chance to catch up on all my recordings and the many, many films I haven’t got round to watching yet.  I might even get outside a bit if the weather ever improves...  

Crystal Palace 4 - 0 Hull

Phew.

Jason Bourne

Just finished watching Jason Bourne - the 2016 film and 5th in the Bourne franchise.  Love the series (apart from the Jeremy Renner one), but this was disappointingly underwhelming.  I think the Bourne films have run their course - they were very much of their time (the 2000's) and they shouldn't have brought it back.  Please don't do another sequel (even though they probably will, because film studios are totally incapable of creating original content nowadays).

Work Moan

Stunningly disgruntled with work today.  I just don’t gel at all with my manager, her management style and her philosophy.  I thought I could stick it out – I’m not sure if I can.  I think I’m going to ask for a 1 to 1 with her manager, and voice some of my concerns and ultimately ask to move group.  I feel mismanaged, misutilized, underutilized and generally very unhappy with my standing, status and responsibilities.  I don’t want to work with someone who is overly controlling and micromanaging, since with my abilities and experience I should have earned the respect to do my work independently and in the way I want to (which is not compatible with the way she wants to – for example, I am sick to death of attending loads of useless meetings).  When she asks what we can do to improve efficiencies, all I want to do is respond by saying the inefficiency is her since every single decision has to be run by and made by her.  It’s tough – it makes for a horrible environment to work in, I feel uninformed and unimportant, and I’ve been given next to no opportunities to prove my worth.    I just don’t think she gets me – and has made little effort to get to know me and get the most out of me.  I was hoping by now that our company would have made some big merger or acquisition, and I would have used that as an excuse to request a transfer into a different therapeutic area – at least you know I might then be working on something with some importance and value.  Instead, I’m just withering away here – only getting increasingly depressed, demotivated and discouraged with my job.  That is simply not healthy, and I’m not sure how much more I can endure…  

Sosher

Big, big game on Sunday – Palace vs Hull.  The main thing – Hull cannot win.  Any other result is enough.  Based on Palace’s last 3 games, I’m worried.  But Man U winning today and going through to the Europa League final is good – Palace’s last game is against them, which is 3 days before the Europa League Final, so if Palace need a result in that game then Man U will hopefully be resting all their players for the final.  But I hope it doesn’t come to that.  This is an exciting sporting time – end of football and rugby seasons, basketball playoffs, ice hockey playoffs.  Make the most of it, because in a few weeks’ time we’re going to have nothing other than the monotony of baseball – no major sporting events or tournaments.  Those are the dark times – having to resort to watching secondary sports like motor racing and tennis.  Fingers crossed for some decent weather here by then – so no excuses to not stay in (minus all the million things I need to organize, unbox and buy for my new accommodations).

President Rock

… or is it President The Rock?  Dwayne Johnson has said he would like to run for president.  He has got my vote (if I could vote in US elections).  Talking about the presidency, Trump firing the FBI boss has seemingly rocked the establishment – unexpected, turmoilic and now lots of rumors about cover-ups, interference and whatnot.  Clearly the Russian cloud hanging over Trump’s presidency is not going anywhere any time soon.  It’s all very Nixon-esque – when the truth finally comes out, should make for some interesting reading and reaction.  Remember, this is the FBI guy who may have lost Clinton the election.  The timing, and minimal justification and precedence, for the firing is all very suspicious – especially if the investigation into Russian influence and ties to Trump’s team quietly goes away now.  As they say, there is no smoke without fire.  I suspect this was more just a fit of pique by Trump rather than anything nefarious, but he may have inadvertently opened up a huge can of worms and brought more attention to himself and an issue that may ultimately result in his impeachment.  That would be a shame.  Not.  

Random Tune

Damian Lewis chose this on Desert Island Discs.  Respect.  Classic early 90's trance.  There are about a zillion different mixes of this tune on YouTube, but this is the one with the most views.

Late

For about the 5th day in a row, it's late and I haven't posted anything yet.  So whatever I do write at this hour will be brief and uninformative.  Is it time to cut back on posting daily in the hope of posting something more substantial and meaningful when I do write something?  Nope, I think this is just symptomatic of the fact that I've got a ton of other things on my mind at the moment - sadly expect a lot of entries like this for the next few weeks whilst I settle into my new place.

Banking

With my UK bank account, it's very simple to set up a money transfer to someone else.  With my US bank account, why is this so difficult?  I couldn't find anything to set this up when I logged into my account online.  Ridiculous.  So how am I supposed to pay my rent?  A trip to an actual branch is in order tomorrow.  The American banking system is so backward - we still don't have chip and pin here, they've only got as far as chip and signature.  Prehistoric.

Assimilation

For a creature of habit, it is going to take me a while to readjust to my living situation.  From the new location, to the new floor plan, to the strange noises that my house makes, it is not easy and I'm feeling decidedly uncomfortable - especially with most of my stuff still in boxes, so I haven't had the chance to stamp my identity and make it more homely yet.  This is probably clouding my first impressions - until I'm properly settled, I will reserve judgement.  There are definitely more positives than negatives to where I was - but there are negatives, in particular I wasn't expecting my neighbor/landlord and his family to park right outside my place whilst they cement their driveway.  This makes me feel very exposed, because there are lots of windows to look into my place but not many curtains/blinds to give me some privacy.  

Reconnected

I've moved!  I would say I've successfully moved, but - as feared/expected - had a day without TV or an internet connection, which I've only just got back now - hence delayed post.  To keep up my "daily" postings, I'll write something else this evening.  Suffice to say my house is an absolute mess with boxes everywhere and not being able to find everything I want (I had to sleep on my spare bed last night complete with rock hard mattress, so now I've got a bad back this morning).  It might be sometime until I've unpacked and sorted out everything - I guess only then will this feel like my new "home"! 

A Last View From My Apartment

A picture speaks a thousand words.

(Note: these storms were NOTHING compared to some of those I experienced when I lived in Texas, but naturally they were a huge deal here)

Dark Tower

I'm excited by Stephen King's The Dark Tower series being adapted into a film - with Idris Elba as The Gunslinger no less - but very apprehensive that the film (and accompanying television series) will not be anywhere near as good as what is probably Stephen King's best work (I've read all 8 books in the series).  The trailer for the film dropped today.  I wasn't blown away with it - that doesn't bode well.  Adaptions of Stephen King's books into films are either very good or very bad - hopefully this will be more like The Shawshank Redemption than Dreamcatcher

Distracted

I nearly forgot to post something today - I've definitely got my move in a couple of day's time on my mind.  Although I've got most stuff boxed up and ready to go, still a lot to do - which is why I've got the rest of the week off work.  Tomorrow - remainder of packing and a few other bits and bobs.  Thursday - the movers are here.  Friday - clean up my apartment before returning keys and actually spending the first night in my new place.  Naturally, I don't expect things will go entirely to plan - these things never do.

May Day Marches

There always seem to be lots of marches and protests in Seattle on May Day, and today is no exception.  Invariably, they devolve into riots and violence.  I’m writing this in the afternoon, and I can already see a couple of helicopters hovering over downtown, presumably following one or other of the marches.  I’m sure there is no trouble and they are relatively peaceful at the moment, but I wouldn’t be surprised if things get a lot less peaceful later this evening.  We did get an e-mail at work notifying us about the marches (the following were mentioned: March for Workers and Immigrant Rights, Veteran Anti-War March, Anti-Capitalist March, Anti-Communism March – but expect there are a lot more unofficial events going on) and that they would likely mess up the traffic and the commute today.  They better not shut down any highways or freeways that affect my drive home (looks like some downtown freeway exits have already been closed down).  I thought one of the marches might pass my workplace, but I was mistaken.  That’s kind of disappointing.  But with the sheer number of people already protesting against the presidency (and apparently a pro-Trump rally has also been organized today), I have a feeling today’s protests could have a bigger turnout than normal and hence also a lot more trouble than normal once the sun goes down.  Conversely, yet another wet day might keep some protesters from coming out, but probably not the agitators and anarchists whose sole mission is to cause as much destruction and chaos as possible.  Either way, it would be wise to stay away from downtown this evening.  Let’s see if Seattle makes the national and international news tomorrow.