Not My Dream Job

Not enjoying my job at all at the moment.  Lots of little things are annoying me more than normal, stuff that I should be used to by now – cube neighbors having their volume too high on their headsets when they are on teleconferences so that I can hear the entire teleconference without the need for a headset, loud and long conversations about work-related issues in Chinese so that I can contribute absolutely nothing to the discussion, people who sit near me who I don’t know and don’t speak to and don’t even acknowledge any more, etc.  Generally, I’m still not that busy and still feel very expendable – not helped by the fact that someone who left about 4-5 months ago has inexplicably been allowed to rejoin.  This is yet another Chinese colleague who used to be at the same level as me but is now a couple of rungs above me (even after rejoining), someone who I don’t particularly like, and someone who I am not glad is back (I am not going to his welcome back lunch today) because I think he is a direct threat to my position and my advancement.  He went to work for a rival company in Seattle, but the fact he came back so quickly indicates a lack of character and that he is a quitter – a viewpoint I’m not afraid to share, mainly because after my Texas experience I can say the same thing about myself!  But I guess things could be worse – some other people in my group have been working long hours and into the early hours recently (I heard 4 am the other night!) to complete a deliverable.  Naturally they will probably get rewarded and recognized for their hard work, when I would perhaps argue that they have shown a lack of planning, a lack of time management and an inability to negotiate more sensible timelines.  But the fact that I have not had to work stupid hours probably reflects badly on me when it shouldn’t.  But as per norm for me, I tend to fixate on the negatives rather than the positives about my job.  The grass is not always greener on the other side; I should be grateful that I’m paid as much as I am to do as little as I do; and work has not, and I don’t allow it to, take over my life.

TREASON?

A Fox News guest:

"My book actually uses science and real data and true psychological theory to explain why it is quite possible that this president is the most sound minded person to ever occupy the White House."

Am I going to believe this, or an upcoming respected journalist’s book which has members of President Trump’s own leadership team calling him “unhinged” and “an idiot”?  And that’s on top of the anonymous article which attacked Trump that got published by the New York Times yesterday.  Which is frankly hilarious – and extremely damaging to Trump (“amoral”, “erratic” and “ill-informed”, from someone senior within the administration no less).

Commute

I thought this morning’s commute would be hellish, since it was first day back to school today (the teachers here did threaten to strike, but I think they might have backed off).  But it really wasn’t as bad as I feared.  Maybe the longest it has been since coming back from my holiday, but nothing like as bad as it can be (35 minutes from leaving home around 9 am – which isn’t bad, but I’ve been doing a lot of commutes less than 30 minutes recently which is really good).  Perhaps not all the schools started back today – my commute takes me close to a couple of schools, but I didn’t see or get stuck behind any yellow school buses and I didn’t see any kids actually waiting on the side of the road to be picked up this morning.  And I wonder also if perhaps the bigger source of traffic will be when the university year starts again.  My place of work is quite near to the University of Washington, so I imagine the traffic there makes a huge difference.  A quick online check indicates that the university academic quarter starts on September 26.  So perhaps I’ve still got a few more weeks before the commute really takes a downward turn… (I also notice in this post that I’ve got into the bad and nonsensical habit of putting month before day when saying or writing dates, without even thinking about it – thanks America.) 

Nike

"Believe in something.  Even if it means sacrificing everything."

And so Nike have started an advertising campaign featuring the polarizing (that's an understatement!) face of Colin Kaepernick.  He is basically the originator of NFL players kneeling during the national anthem to protest black rights.  And naturally, the redneck racist Trump base have gone absolutely crazy over the decision and started to boycott Nike and set fire to or otherwise destroy/ruin Nike products in really very petty displays of anger (why on earth would you piss on your own shoes?!).  Again, the ignorance is bewildering and these people just don't understand the point of the kneeling - it was never a statement against the flag or the country, but a means to publicly protest racial inequality.  Of course, Trump shows his ignorance by stating his disapproval.  But then, Trump has always had balanced and considered responses when it comes to sensitive subjects like racial inequality.

Labor Day

It was Labor Day today - the nearest we get to a summer bank holiday here (the first Monday in September).  According to Wikipedia, it honors the American labor movement and the contributions that workers have made to the strength, prosperity, laws, and well-being of the country.  Whatever, it's just nice to have a day off work!  A lazy day for me, in what has been a very lazy weekend.  I'm kind of disappointed with myself, since we've had pretty good weather over the weekend and so it was a good opportunity to get out and do stuff.  But I just didn't feel like it - a combination of still not feeling 100%, but also feeling a bit down and so lacking the motivation to do anything - a classic symptom of depression...  I don't regret not going down to Oregon for the weekend - my original plan - but I should still have made better use of an all too rare long weekend.  That needs to change.

(Are Made of This)

One of the more interesting side effects of my messed up sleeping patterns and waking up so early is that I have a good recollection of what I've just been dreaming about.  And, sadly and unsurprisingly, I clearly have no imagination.  All my dreams are contemporary and reflect some wishful thinking about events that could happen or will happen in the immediate future or the immediate past.  For example, just the other night I was dreaming about a school reunion with friends and classmates who I haven't thought about for years and who I can't even remember all their names.  No fantasy elements to my dreams, no sci-fi, no high-adrenaline action, no weirdness.  If I was trying to look for symbols in my dreams, then I would be sadly disappointed.  Perhaps the dreams say something about my current state of mind, but nothing insightful that I didn't already know.  Personally, I think over-analyzing dreams is a load of hokum - but sometimes dreams can be the sub-conscious trying to tell you something.  Clearly my sub-consciousness sucks as much as my consciousness.  I should not plan on being able to write some fantasy novel series in my retirement.   

Current Affairs

It's difficult to break habits of a lifetime.  And if you're happy and content with those habits, then you don't feel a need to change them.  But what if they are perceived as confusing, disturbing and unhealthy by others?  Then should you change your habits even if you don't want to?  I consider an addiction, maybe even an obsession, with news and current affairs to be such an example.  Why get one newspaper a day, when you can get 3?  Perhaps all sharing the same political leanings.  Why watch one news program a day, when you can watch 3 (on top of numerous news updates and discussion on the radio)?  All on the same network.  Not to say a continuous news feed available whenever you want from your phone.  This level of intake is not rationale, nor logical, nor sensible.  These are just the same daily news stories getting recycled and regurgitated over and over and over again.  And, for the most part, the importance of these stories is minimal at best and their negativity very dispiriting and depressing.  Which is why I seriously limit my input -  and why I think other people should as well.  I know they won't, but they should.  You don't need to watch and listen to such a large overlap of information to be informed about the world around you - and don't get me wrong, you need to be informed in this age of Trump and Brexit.  But one newspaper and one evening news program should be more than sufficient for this.