Downhill

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mortality recently - and watching yesterday's film has probably just exacerbated that.  I know, not exactly getting into the festive spirit!  But I'm just more aware of the increasing number of signs that I’m getting older.  From being oblivious to modern music trends, to suffering from various physical and mental ailments.  I’m sure more and more grammatical errors are creeping into these blog entries (I’m NOT counting Americanisms!), no matter how many times I might read them over before I post!  The last 2 or 3 weeks have been rough – I’ve had to take a sick day, and work through a number of other days where I wanted to take a sick day but had timeline commitments so couldn’t afford to miss work.  I've been suffering a lot of migraines recently, and I’m fairly sure that this is associated with elevated blood pressure.  I think I can get a handle on it when I eat healthily and get regular exercise, but that isn’t something I’ve been particularly good at recently.  I've also not been sleeping well, not helped by the fact that I’m increasingly having to empty my bladder in the middle of the night.  Also I’ve become quite obsessed with my appearance.  My hair is increasingly graying, but for quite a number of years I’ve had this very obvious grey patch.  Someone commented that it looks like a bald spot.  And now I can’t be sure whether there is some truth to that or whether the grey hair makes it look worse than it really is.  I can’t stop staring and fretting about it now every time I look in the mirror.  This might be the last time I cut my hair this short.  And everything is only going to get worse as I get older… oh boy.