Sad Uncle

When you don’t have any children of your own, you appreciate the time – no matter how brief – that you are able to spend with any young nephews or nieces you might have.  This is definitely one of the things I miss most in the US, and one of the things I enjoy the most when I go back to the UK.  I don’t think I’d make a good father so I’m happy to have the lack of responsibilities that a silly uncle has.  I still don’t have any strong desires to have any children of my own – probably for the best, as there is absolutely no possibility of that happening anytime soon – but that isn’t to say that I don't sometimes feel sad that I don’t get to experience the joys of parenthood, particularly in that post-toddler stage.  I definitely do feel sad being so far away that I don’t get to be as close to my nephew and niece as I’d like, and I don’t get to partake in family gatherings, excursions and suchlike.  And when you don’t even have regular contact over Skype, no matter how good a reason that might be, it makes one feel very forgotten and/or ignored and you can’t help but take it personally.  I know I come across as somewhat cold and repressed, but I like to think that inside that hard shell is a warm heart with a lot of love to give and receive, but which can also be hurt.  I haven’t been a particularly good son, grandson or sibling – so it would seem unlikely I’ll make a good uncle either, but I definitely don’t want to be a stranger.