Choices

I’m not going to talk about England’s game today.  As I write this during the afternoon, I haven’t watched the game yet – although I know the score.  And I am quite content with the result.  I guess the next game will decide whether it was the right choice or not to rest most of the players and maybe not try your hardest.  I think/hope it was.

Instead, I’m going to talk about a dilemma I have.  I’ve been invited to an onsite interview for a company in San Diego.  But I don’t know whether to go.  It’s for the same company I applied to back in February (?).  And I had a phone interview earlier this week that seemingly went well enough for me to be asked to come in.  But I’m conflicted.  On the one hand, it’s San Diego.  A place I miss and a place that I’ve said I’ve always wanted to move back to.  Conversely, my worry is that I see San Diego through rose-tinted glasses from my great time there before, and that I won’t ever be able to replicate that.  There are also several red flags concerning the company I might be moving to, and I’m also in a much happier position now in my current job with my new manager.  And also my living situation is better than its ever been.  My current thoughts: the grass isn’t always greener on the other side; better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.  Also, one of the names on the interview list was familiar to me from my time in Orange County some 10+ years ago – and if it is the person I think it is, I'm not totally sure, then he is a total douchebag.  So, I’m almost talking myself out of interviewing – even if it means burning bridges for any future job applications.  Maybe I should just interview and see if anything comes out of it – what have I got to lose? - but even that is a hassle, because it would be the Monday before I fly back to the UK, and it’s hardly professional for me to ask for another day off work right before a 3 week holiday.  So I suspect I won’t apply, but I’ll stew about it for a bit longer.  Historically, it hasn’t always been a good idea for me to trust my gut – so maybe I should just go for it.  But the more I think about it, the more I think that if I was ever to quit this job then I’d much rather take some extended time off rather than jump into a new job immediately.  This is where my indecisiveness comes to the foreground.  I hate myself.  Whatever decision I make I’m sure I’m going to regret.