40 Hours of Hell a Week

Simply sick of work at the moment.  No enthusiasm and no motivation on what I’m working on.  Disgusted by some of the recent promotions and organizational changes.  In particular, by the fact that almost everybody who I used to be on the same level as when I worked at the company before is now 1 or 2 levels above me (regardless of competency and whether they deserve it).  And also by the fact that a Chinese guy in my office who I don’t particularly like is moving into my therapeutic area and taking on exactly the kind of responsibilities that I think I should have.  I’m sick of the fact that seemingly the only way for career advancement here is to take on more managerial responsibilities – in particular more direct reports – and that is just something I’m very reluctant to do (my conditions for taking on new reports – they have to work in the same location and be Caucasian – will never be met).  There is no technical career path.  Yet, apparently, some people at my level do manage to get promoted even though they don’t have direct reports – something contradictory to everything I’ve been told by my manager.  And my base salary is still less than what I originally asked for when I re-applied for this job.  So, why am I still sitting on an e-mail to my manager’s manager which includes the following inflammatory lines:  ”I’d like to ask about the opportunity/possibility of changing teams and manager.  I’m unhappy with how I’m currently being utilized and managed, and I’d like to know if there is anything that can be done to change that.”?  Will it make a difference if I send it?  Everything I’ve experienced since returning to this job would suggest not.  I’m not prepared to suck up to the higher-ups.  I’m not prepared to work myself into the ground.  I don’t have the right color skin.  I just think this is a toxic environment – and it was probably a mistake to come back to this job.  But it is what it is.  So as long as they keep on paying me, I’ll be as least proactive and least busy as I can possibly be.  What a terrible attitude to work, and not one I’m proud of, but I don’t see any other choice until I find a better opportunity elsewhere – I won’t leave until I’ve been here at least 2 years and don’t have to pay back any relocation costs, which probably means I’m looking at this time next year after I’ve got my bonus then.  Of course, a lot could change (for better or worse) between now and then – but that is my current thinking.  This could be a very long year.