Glory

I refused to watch Grump's televised speech this evening, so how did I spend Pancake Day?  Well, I didn't have any pancakes - instead I had some popcorn and watched a 1989 film I had never seen before.  I watched the film Glory about a black regiment in the American Civil War.  A good war film - certainly good enough to move me to tears - but not quite a classic.  Even though it won awards it doesn't even appear in my "Guinness Book of Film: The Ultimate Guide to the Best Films Ever" from 2000, so I didn't have another film I could cross off this list.  Disappointing.  

More Politics

President Grump has proposed increasing military expenditure by 10%.  This money won’t magically appear from nowhere, so expect deep cuts somewhere (e.g. foreign aid and the environment).  Especially when he also wants to reform taxes so that the rich and middle class pay less taxes.  Expect the US to add substantially to its already immense national debt.  Utterly ridiculous – the US already spends nearly 3 times as much as China annually on its military, so why the increase?  Is the US planning another doomed war in the Middle East or Afghanistan?  I thought his only war was with the media!  If anything, defense spending should go down – it’s clearly already a massive money drain.  It’s contradictory even to his campaign slogan of Making America Great Again – there are bound to be cuts to some domestic programs.  What with his ongoing issues with healthcare reform (it’s no good even thinking of repealing Obamacare when you have nothing viable to replace it), Russian influence, immigration push-back and his utterly hypocritical frustration with the media and “fake news” – I hope everything he wants to do continues to be challenged and attacked.  There should be no easy ride for this wannabe despot and his cronies.    

Rugger

So, inexplicably, one of the sports channels over here has started showing some Premiership Rugby games live.  I'm not complaining - though I'd wish they'd show internationals rather than domestic games.  And why there are domestic games on during the same weekend as Six Nation games is beyond me.  But as long as they keep on showing games when all the best players are available then I'll be happy.  But what I've noticed is that the game of rugby union has evolved.  Now, it is a lot closer to rugby league with the various phases of play.  A ball carrier gets tackled, the ball gets recycled, gets passed away, and the next ball carrier gets tackled, and so on - sometimes ground is made and sometimes ground is lost.  There seems to be a lot more of this in the various recent games I've seen than I ever remember - more brute force, more rucks, less kicking and less mauls.  It's almost exactly like rugby league, apart from no limit to the number of phases and without the explicit stop-start nature of rugby league (though not far away).  I miss the messiness and scrappiness of how the game (in my memory) used to be.

Palace 1 - 0 Boro

Gasp, a rare home win for Palace - important result, especially for a 6-pointer.  They televised the game here, so I was able to catch the full 90 minutes.  I remain unconvinced that Palace are good enough to stay up, but I know at least one Boro fan reads this blog and I would be very worried about your team.  They were awful - especially in the first half, posing absolutely no threat going forward.  And when Palace sat back in the second half and they had every opportunity to push for the equalizer or even the win, they still couldn't capitalize.  So this wasn't so much Palace deserving to win as Boro deserving to lose.  The relegation battle is going to be a real scrap.  I fear especially for Leicester - the reigning champions lest we forget - with an unfortunate and desperate but necessary managerial sacking to have any chance of staying up.

40 Hours of Hell a Week

Simply sick of work at the moment.  No enthusiasm and no motivation on what I’m working on.  Disgusted by some of the recent promotions and organizational changes.  In particular, by the fact that almost everybody who I used to be on the same level as when I worked at the company before is now 1 or 2 levels above me (regardless of competency and whether they deserve it).  And also by the fact that a Chinese guy in my office who I don’t particularly like is moving into my therapeutic area and taking on exactly the kind of responsibilities that I think I should have.  I’m sick of the fact that seemingly the only way for career advancement here is to take on more managerial responsibilities – in particular more direct reports – and that is just something I’m very reluctant to do (my conditions for taking on new reports – they have to work in the same location and be Caucasian – will never be met).  There is no technical career path.  Yet, apparently, some people at my level do manage to get promoted even though they don’t have direct reports – something contradictory to everything I’ve been told by my manager.  And my base salary is still less than what I originally asked for when I re-applied for this job.  So, why am I still sitting on an e-mail to my manager’s manager which includes the following inflammatory lines:  ”I’d like to ask about the opportunity/possibility of changing teams and manager.  I’m unhappy with how I’m currently being utilized and managed, and I’d like to know if there is anything that can be done to change that.”?  Will it make a difference if I send it?  Everything I’ve experienced since returning to this job would suggest not.  I’m not prepared to suck up to the higher-ups.  I’m not prepared to work myself into the ground.  I don’t have the right color skin.  I just think this is a toxic environment – and it was probably a mistake to come back to this job.  But it is what it is.  So as long as they keep on paying me, I’ll be as least proactive and least busy as I can possibly be.  What a terrible attitude to work, and not one I’m proud of, but I don’t see any other choice until I find a better opportunity elsewhere – I won’t leave until I’ve been here at least 2 years and don’t have to pay back any relocation costs, which probably means I’m looking at this time next year after I’ve got my bonus then.  Of course, a lot could change (for better or worse) between now and then – but that is my current thinking.  This could be a very long year.

American-English 2

Here are the answers to the quiz I posed a couple of days ago of “British English” words with their “American English” translations:

Accumulator = Battery (Accumulator?)

Black Treacle = Molasses (Molasses??)

Chucker Out = Bouncer (Logical, but "Chucker Out"???)

Cubbyhole = Glove Compartment (Cubbyhole????)

Fascia Panel = Dashboard (Fascia Panel???????)

Pantechnicon = Moving Van (Pantechnicon?????????????)

Polka Dots = Chocolate Chips (Polka Dots in this context????)

Sponge Bag = Shaving Kit (?)

This is probably only proving how poor my vocabulary is and why I’m so useless at crosswords.

Nice quote that came out of the puzzle: "An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one."

Contemplation

Gosh, it’s getting tough to write a blog post that isn’t me unhappy or angry about something.  This is probably reflective of the Trump/Brexit world we live in.  And probably also somewhat reflective of my feelings about life at the moment.  I’ve been giving serious consideration to a lot of big questions recently - such as is it too late to change my career and do I still want to live in the US?  (Yes and yes.)  There are things I can consider doing to make things better in the short term (e.g. improve my living situation by finding somewhere new to live), and in the medium term (e.g. try to find a new job).  But whether these address my concerns about my long-term mental (and physical) health and welfare I don’t know.  I have become very worried about whether I’ll ever reach retirement age in good health, if I reach it at all.  And that has nothing to do with diet/exercise, and much more to do with a lack of social support structure and a lack of life goals/purpose.  And this is part of the reason I’ve been giving very serious consideration to taking a sabbatical away from work entirely, especially if I struggle to find a new job in a location I want to move to.  I’m talking about living a year or two in a work-free, stress-free, relaxing manner whilst I still can – doing some of those happy retirement-type activities like travelling, getting out and about, engaging in hobbies and maybe even (gasp!) socializing more.  I think I’d like to use my savings to do that sooner rather than take the risk of my savings going to waste in my later years.  I don’t have the responsibilities of family or a strong attachment to my current job, which allows me to give this serious consideration – I don’t know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I suspect the latter.